New phone for the White House

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A new phone has been ordered for the Resolute Desk.

Staff believe it is more appropriate for this administration, and will go well with his tie.

Delivery is expected within a few days.

Trump calls National Anthem by wrong name

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This came in my email today, from the Trump/Pence Campaign.

Jim,

Just after we heard a sitting governor trash America, ESPN has now decided it will no longer play the National Anthem before Monday Night Football.

If “America” is too offensive for anyone in our country, then what are they doing in America?

I’m calling on you to join me in denouncing this SPINELESS surrender to the politically correct liberal mob.

The email was supposedly signed and sent by Donald Trump. A picture of him was even included.

For heavens’s sake, doesn’t ANYONE in the Trump circus know the national anthem is “The Star Spangled Banner“? Although perhaps a better choice, “America (the beautiful)” isn’t the anthem. It probably never will be, since the tune is the same as “God Save The Queen (King)“, and heaven forbid we have the same tune as the Brits. (although I’ve heard the tune for the Star Spangled Banner is that of an old drinking song from Great Britain, so maybe it’s not such a barrier, after all.)

Oh, and by the way, “President” Trump, the NFL didn’t start playing the anthem before games until the Pentagon paid them as part an advertising campaign. Their patriotism is bought and paid for.

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You know that scene in Back to the Future 3, where the locomotive is flying off the uncompleted bridge over Shonash Ravine? That’s where the Trump train is right now. Trumpsters had a chance to get off back at the switch, but they insistently stayed on board, and now their tickets are about to be punched. All that’s left is to clean up the mess at the bottom of the ravine, once the fires are put out. It’s going to be a long and tedious job. Fortunately for the rest of us, Robert Mueller is going to be doing most of the heavy lifting, and the blue wave will put out most of the fires.

The second verse of The Star Spangle Banner seems prophetic to today’s darkness:

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

 

Everybody into the pool! Or not.

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I wish I could have been at the City Council meeting when this was discussed. As I’ve read the news accounts of the proposal, I wonder about two things that (hopefully) were explained there but didn’t make it into print.

First, $15 million to build it? How can a “cement pond”, to borrow a phrase from the Beverly Hillbillies, cost $15 million? The dispatch center was $11 million, how is a pool more than that? Are we talking a pool within a building? Locker rooms and plumbing facilities, sure, but are we putting the entire thing indoors?

Second, $60,000 a month to operate? I’m assuming the city will get a bulk purchase deal on the chlorine. The parking lot (which will need to by huge, BTW) will be under solar panels to generate power, just like the new dispatch center, right? Not enough to run the pumps and filters, I take it. Just what is going to be costing $60,000 a month?

At any rate, an Olympic pool would be great for Visalia, and I hope the powers that be figure out some way to make it work. They made the Raddison/Marriott hotel work, kept Kaweah Delta downtown, and put in a sports park. Surely they can make a competition-class pool work as well. Not everything needs to make money, some things are valuable in ways not measurable on profit-and-loss statements.

Image: Associated Press

Space Force, but no nukes

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So which will it be?

“Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise…” – Captain James T. Kirk (or for the slightly younger set, Captain Jean-Luc Picard)

Or

“I do not fear the dark side, as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.” – Darth Vader

Has anyone told Hair Furor Trump that the United Nations Treaty on Outer Space prohibits the use of nuclear weapons in space? Does anyone really think he’s proposing a space force without our ultimate weapons being available? They’re the biggest toy in that toy box, and there’s no way he’s not going to play with them.

Between NASA, the space programs of the Air Force,  SpaceX, and the other private spaceflight companies, I think we’ve got space pretty well covered.

Somebody tell Space Cadet Trump that we can’t afford to have a space force if we have his military parade. I’ll bet he’ll pick the parade.

I don’t for a minute think it’s going to be “phasers on stun”. With Trump on the bridge, it’s going to be “pew pew pew”.  Maybe he can borrow Rick Moranis’ helmet.

Trump: CA wildfires worse because rivers flow to ocean

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“California wildfires are being magnified & made so much worse by the bad environmental laws which aren’t allowing massive amount of readily available water to be properly utilized. It is being diverted into the Pacific Ocean. Must also tree clear to stop fire spreading!” – the President of the United States of America

I took a screen shot of this tweet so that if he decides to delete it once he figures out how idiotic it makes him look, I’ll have evidence it happened. He’s done that before, and in violation of the records act. Laws don’t apply to Hair Furor, or so he seems to think. (NO COLLUSION!)

Trump claims a river that runs to the ocean is “being diverted”. Rivers normally do that, it’s kind of their thing. The diversion occurs when we use it for irrigation and drinking.

He thinks environmental laws prevent water from being used to fight fires. This may come as a surprise to the exceptional firefighters working those blazes right now.

No matter how ridiculous his tweets become, just when you think he can’t get any worse, he proves you wrong.

Next week’s news must need some serious deflection, if this is what he comes up with on Sunday.

#MAGA Making America Groan Again. Again.

 

Trump: I wasn’t late, she was late!

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He just can’t tell the truth. No matter the issue, he has to lie. It has to be a pathological disorder.

“I landed and I’m on the ground and I’m waiting with the king’s and the queen’s guards,” Trump told his supporters. “I’m waiting. I was about 15 minutes early and I’m waiting with my wife and that’s fine. Hey, it’s the queen, right? We can wait. But I’m a little early,” Trump said at a rally Thursday, August 2, 2018.

Donald has spent most of his adult life before the Internet existed, and it still hasn’t dawned on him that almost anything can be checked, easily, and in the moment. Like who was kept waiting at his first meeting with the Queen of our closest ally. Really, Donald. There’s video of Her Majesty standing patiently waiting for your helicopter to arrive. The British didn’t miss it when she checked her watch. It was live on the BBC.

You’ve got to hand it to the British press, though. They were circumspect in their reporting of the incident, saying it wasn’t clear if Trump were late or not. It’s pretty clear from the Queen’s demeanor and actions that he was. Then, like a guest that won’t leave no matter how many times you yawn, he drug out his scheduled 15 minute meeting to more than an hour. Regardless of what you think of the monarchy, and how a President of the United States should behave with a royal, it’s always a faux pas to keep a 92 year old lady waiting. It screams “I’m a jerk!”

After keeping her waiting, he went with her to review the guard. It’s not polite to walk in front of a lady, Donald, especially when she’s the Queen. (Remember that incident at the White House, when he got out of the SUV and left poor Melania to get out on her side alone and walk around the truck, and try to catch up with him?) Look at that picture. She’s not amused, to paraphrase one of her predecessors. It’s a good thing the monarchy is only ceremonial these days, otherwise Trump might find his passport no longer valid in the United Kingdom!

Trump is a self-absorbed dolt, rude, and a liar.  And President of the United States of America. Aren’t you proud of him? #MAGA (make America groan again)

Image: Associated Press